Monday, October 17, 2011

The Lord is the One who holds his hand

Just a reminder, the My Memories giveway is still open. It will close at midnight on Wednesday. It's easy to enter, and there's a good chance you could win the $40 photo software.

Also, go check out Megan's giveaway. Julie the Fish Designs makes some of the cutest jewlery, and one person will win a piece!

One of my favorite things to do lately is take walks with my son. With his unsteady baby legs, we don't trek long distances, but I don't care about that. What I like about our walks is the wonder I see in my son's eyes. He is fascinated by the world around him.

A few weeks ago, I watched my husband take the baby for a walk. My husband, bless his heart, is not a patient man. He sets his eyes on what he wants, and he makes it a goal to get there as quickly as possible.

You can imagine the battle of wills my boys encountered on their walk. The daddy was focused on the end -- the easiest and quickest way to get there. The boy was focused on the moment, investigating and exploring, touching and tasting.

When frustration began to creep in on daddy, he took the boy by the hand in an effort to speed things along. The boy, who is stubborn and iron-willed, tried with all his might to continue in his path, even though he was being pulled in an opposite direction.

I am so guilty of pulling on my Father's hand, struggling against His direction. Like my son, I find myself so caught up in the moment that I fail to see the path before me. I lose sight of where it is I'm supposed to get to because there are just so many distractions right at my fingertips. 

I question myself: why is it so difficult for me to walk? to be led by my Father's hand? to ignore the glittering distractions that call out to me from every side? Don't I trust the Hand that leads? Don't I have faith that walking the path set before me will bring me closer to my God?

Following the Lord is the ultimate act of trust. It requires me to follow a quiet voice through uncharted land. To quiet my own screaming will. To move even though I can't see the step in front of me.

It requires me to lay my life in my Father's hands.

Months ago, as I begged the Lord for something dear to me, His answer was Psalm 37: 3- 5:

Trust in the LORD and do good;
         Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
Delight yourself in the LORD;
         And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD,
Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

I have clung to this verse for many months. I recite it as I breath. I store it in my heart.

In those days, I focused on the word dwell. To live in one place; to stay stationary. I felt the Lord tell me the time was not right to go forward. I needed to stay where I was and do what it was he was calling me to do. It was a battle to learn how to dwell.

But now, now I am comfortable in my dwelling, and I feel the Lord telling me it's time to move. The one thing I begged for for so many months now terrifies me. How do I know where to go? Am I really ready to leave this place? How do I really know if I'm following his direction? 

Now I have a new answer, just a few verses down: Psalm 37: 23-24:

The steps of a man are established by the LORD
And He delights in his way.
When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong,
         Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.

So that's where I am right now -- getting ready to move after so many months of dwelling. Scared of moving in the wrong direction. Clinging to the promise that the Lord is the One who holds my hand.

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